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How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.


Should I tell my current partner if my ex just told me they have an STI?

I've been going out with a girl here at my school for the past six months. Last weekend I went home (out of state), and fooled around with an ex-girlfriend. She called me last night and told me that she might have an STI. She went to the doctor this week and told me she would let me know when she finds out for sure. We didn't use a condom.

My problem is, what should I tell my girlfriend? I really love her and don't want to ruin things because of this stupid fling I had. But I can tell she's annoyed that I've avoided her all weekend. I can't exactly tell her next time we get together that I don't feel like fooling around, but I don't know how long it will be before I know if I'm infected. And what do I do if I am? Help!


Are there routine STI tests that I should be doing?

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?


Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas?

I am currently trying to revise my eating habits to eat less often (I'm a throughout the day snacker, and normally don't eat meals). Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas? I was told that tea is a no calorie drink, and yet it fills me up when I'm hungry. I have started to replace most of my cravings with tea now, so that I actually eat a lot less than before. Is tea healthy for you if it is no caffeine, herbal, and I use honey to sweeten it? I am not used to drinking much of anything in the day and am fairly slim, so could the extra water intake have any weight gaining effects on me? Could this be a healthy diet?


Does a snack at half-time boost energy to finish a sports game?

My soccer coach is suggesting we eat bananas at half-time of our soccer game to rebuild our energy for the second half. I understand that bananas are a very good source of energy, among other things. I don't see any detriment to this idea, but my question is this: Does the consumption of bananas result in an immediate energy boost? I have always been led to believe that food must be digested through the system before the body realizes the benefits, and that usually takes several hours. Can you enlighten me?


Why am I having sex dreams about my dad?

I am having these really weird dreams. They start off with me flirting with an older gentleman and then it evolves quickly into heated sexual passion. The thing that is really disgusting about it is that the older gentlemen switches personalities from random strangers inevitably into my father. I'm really upset about this whole "Electra-complex" thing and it rudes me out. I always wake up when it starts getting too heated and then I feel really ashamed for having dreamt it.

I have a good relationship with my father, although sometimes I wish that he would pay more attention to other aspects of my life other than my schooling and career. Is there something wrong with me? I am happy in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have lots of friends who care about me, I'm doing very well in school, etc., but I don't know why these dreams are happening all of a sudden. PLEASE HELP! Where can I go to seek more answers?

Maybe I should also tell you that my boyfriend and I are very good friends and I love him to death, but sometimes the sexual spark isn't there as it was with prior boyfriends. I don't know if this is because we have been together for so long (about 5 years) or if I've just gotten old and crotchety, but then where do these dreams fit in?