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How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.


What contraception can I use if hormonal birth control is not an option?

I have a blood disorder (leiden factor V) which prevents me from talking any form of birth control with hormones in it. This is a problem as I am very paranoid about getting pregnant, I would like to have a child at some point, but not for five or six years. Condoms just seem to risky, and diaphragms and female condoms don't work well for me. So I'm not quite sure what to do. I am able to take the plan B pill, and wondered if I can just take it after having sex. Or if there are any other options out there I would love to know about them! Thank you!


Is it okay for my partner to ejaculate inside of me during unprotected anal sex?

My fiance and I frequently enjoy anal sex. We no longer use condoms with each other during vaginal sex or anal sex. He enjoys ejaculating in me during anal sex and I don't mind it. Immediately afterwards I go to the bathroom and get out his cum, but sometimes it takes awhile for it to all come out. I'm wondering if this is OK to do or if it is harmful to my body because I do enjoy it and would like to continue. I just don't know anyone else who does this and wonder if it could harm me in any way. I've been wondering so much about it lately that I don't want to have anal sex anymore because I'm worried.


Should I smash the lump on my foot with a hard object?

A couple of months ago I developed a hard, bony growth on my instep. I noticed that the top of my foot was hurting, and when I took my shoe off, there was a red lump the size of a quarter (it's not red all the time, just from rubbing against the shoe). A friend of mine who is a nurse said that it's probably a ganglion cyst and the best thing to do would be to, and I quote, "hit it with something really hard," like a dictionary, or a hammer. It should break up immediately, she told me. She hasn't seen it, by the way — this was over the phone.

I'm surprised that she thinks it's a cyst, because it's awfully hard — I would have just thought that it was a bone spur. What do you think? And is smacking a cyst with a dictionary really the way to go?