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How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.


What contraception can I use if hormonal birth control is not an option?

I have a blood disorder (leiden factor V) which prevents me from talking any form of birth control with hormones in it. This is a problem as I am very paranoid about getting pregnant, I would like to have a child at some point, but not for five or six years. Condoms just seem to risky, and diaphragms and female condoms don't work well for me. So I'm not quite sure what to do. I am able to take the plan B pill, and wondered if I can just take it after having sex. Or if there are any other options out there I would love to know about them! Thank you!


Should I smash the lump on my foot with a hard object?

A couple of months ago I developed a hard, bony growth on my instep. I noticed that the top of my foot was hurting, and when I took my shoe off, there was a red lump the size of a quarter (it's not red all the time, just from rubbing against the shoe). A friend of mine who is a nurse said that it's probably a ganglion cyst and the best thing to do would be to, and I quote, "hit it with something really hard," like a dictionary, or a hammer. It should break up immediately, she told me. She hasn't seen it, by the way — this was over the phone.

I'm surprised that she thinks it's a cyst, because it's awfully hard — I would have just thought that it was a bone spur. What do you think? And is smacking a cyst with a dictionary really the way to go?


How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!