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How can I ask my partner if they have any STIs?

I really enjoy reading your answers on these pages, but here's the question that I haven't seen addressed on your web pages or anywhere else on the Internet. Can you please suggest some appropriate ways to ask a person with whom you're about to have sex if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases? A few months ago, I met a girl with whom I had sex... and, as I found out later, she had herpes. We did use condoms anyway, but there was still some risk in catching herpes since we didn't use condoms all the time.


Do drug detox kits work?

I have a question. I read what you wrote about how long marijuana stays in the system. I have smoked every day for the last three months, but have now stopped completely. I am assuming it will stay in my system for three months. I regret this now. I want to look for a job and many firms drug test. I see on the web that there are kits that can be used to help pass the test. Do they work?

Thanks for your advice. I've never smoked before this and never will again!!! Thanks!


Should I tell my current partner if my ex just told me they have an STI?

I've been going out with a girl here at my school for the past six months. Last weekend I went home (out of state), and fooled around with an ex-girlfriend. She called me last night and told me that she might have an STI. She went to the doctor this week and told me she would let me know when she finds out for sure. We didn't use a condom.

My problem is, what should I tell my girlfriend? I really love her and don't want to ruin things because of this stupid fling I had. But I can tell she's annoyed that I've avoided her all weekend. I can't exactly tell her next time we get together that I don't feel like fooling around, but I don't know how long it will be before I know if I'm infected. And what do I do if I am? Help!


Are there routine STI tests that I should be doing?

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?


Should I smash the lump on my foot with a hard object?

A couple of months ago I developed a hard, bony growth on my instep. I noticed that the top of my foot was hurting, and when I took my shoe off, there was a red lump the size of a quarter (it's not red all the time, just from rubbing against the shoe). A friend of mine who is a nurse said that it's probably a ganglion cyst and the best thing to do would be to, and I quote, "hit it with something really hard," like a dictionary, or a hammer. It should break up immediately, she told me. She hasn't seen it, by the way — this was over the phone.

I'm surprised that she thinks it's a cyst, because it's awfully hard — I would have just thought that it was a bone spur. What do you think? And is smacking a cyst with a dictionary really the way to go?


Does marijuana produce serotonin?

My girlfriend tells me she uses marijuana to calm herself if she is having a stressful day. She has been doing this for many years. She says smoking pot is like self-medicating — it is better than using anti-depressants. She also claims smoking pot helps with depression because of how it helps produce serotonin in the body. What is serotonin and how does it help depression? Does smoking pot really help with managing your anxiety, depression, etc.?